Their Saturday started with showers, that teased us  on and off during the morning. By lunchtime the skies had cleared to reveal a beautiful, bright  sun with fluffy white clouds. 

This loving couple had set their wedding ceremony scene on top of the Caroline Bay Lookout.         This lookout gave us glorious views of the Pacific Ocean, the Southern Alps Mountain Range, Timaru township, the penguin colony and our working Port.  The workings at the port seem to cease during the ceremony so the sounds of seagulls and waves became our background music. 

We had a small intimate gathering of close family and friends, some who had travelled to join Kerry and Lis, on their very special day.  Their ceremony was filled with love and emotion.  I must admit, I had a lump in my throat which I somehow managed to swallow down, and continue to read their ceremony with no one the wiser. Thankfully, I had read their ceremony numerous times for preparation, I could still remember the words even when a tear threatened to fill my eye and blur my vision.  

Kerry and Lis and been a couple since 1998 and had two teenage boys who were very much a part of their ceremony.  This wonderful family have such a strong bond and their boys were right by their side. Their love and support for each other was so strong that it will be a fond memory and feeling I will remember for a very long time.

Lis and Kerry - I wish you a lifetime that will continue to be filled with love, happiness and many, many moments of joy.

Finding the right celebrant is like finding the perfect pair of shoes!

First you have to think about what you want. You want a pair of shoes that are going to fit with what your need them for. Think about it - you are heading for a night of dancing. Are you going to squeeze your foot into a gorgeous pair of shoes two sizes too small for you? Or wear a size to big? Of course not! You will end up with blisters and pinched feet or feeling not supported and unstable.

Celebrants are like shoes - one size does NOT fit all and the quality and type vary. Some shoes are so popular they are snapped up as soon as they are on display. The same goes for popular celebrants in peak wedding season. You should book the venue, food, photographer and celebrant all at the same time as early as you can so you get the best possible choice. 

First you need to think about the style that you want. It is no point choosing a celebrant that reminds you of your mean scout leader or looks like your fiancees' ex girlfriend.  Look on their website and facebook business page. Scroll through the photos of them. Do you feel comfortable with them? Do they look positive and happy? Do they fit with you and your fiancee? Are they portraying themselves as outgoing and vibrant or more reserved and quiet? Find a celebrant that fits YOUR personality. They will be in your wedding photos forever and on your video if you have one. 

• Find one or numerous celebrants that you BOTH like the look of and that feel right
• Contact them all and see if they are available for your date. They will probably want to know when the wedding is, where it is, what time it is and how many people will likely be attending. Ask to meet them for a no obligation chat 
• Both of you visit them or skype them and talk about your wedding (try and see all of your possible celebrants in the same week or as close to each other as possible)
• Tell them about your wedding (theme, style, enactments) and tell them about YOU. A good celebrant knows how to ask the right questions to get to know the real you. Ask questions about them. How long have they been a celebrant? Are they trained? Are they experienced? Do you like the sound of their voice and do you feel confident with them?
• Take a list of questions and confirm price and the package/s they offer. Does the price include a rehearsal? Transport? 
• Most professional celebrants have a contract which is for both of your benefit . Read carefully and talk with them if there are any conditions you are not sure or happy with.
• After you have seen all the celebrants and you both know who your want,  confirm with the celebrant of choice (make sure they are still available first don't assume) Sign and send back the contract and pay the deposit to confirm your booking quickly. 
• Contact the other celebrants who you have seen and let them know you have found someone else. Chances are they pencilled in a tentative booking for your date that they someone else can have now

A good celebrant will want to accomodate what you want. Whether you are having a traditional full wedding, brunch wedding at a cafe or a dress up Halloween Wedding,  you need a celebrant that is excited about what you are doing.  

Your celebrant should be welcoming, adaptable and easy to talk to. On your big day it is them running the ceremony. They will be making sure it is all set up as planned, they will be helping to keep your nervousness at bay and delivering an amazing ceremony for you and your guests. 

Don't be afraid to shop around and connect with a few (or lots of celebrants) Find one that you both fit with, they you have confidence in. Even if you have been married seven times or this is your first - it is your special day. You need someone that has your back and that has you and your ceremony as their priority. 

​Good luck and happy planning!

"Let's write our own vows!" 
It seemed like such a good idea at the time ... but as you sit down at your laptop  you don't know where to start. You google "How to write your own vows" but there is so many articles offering tips it can feel pretty over whelming.  

So, how do you get the words out that describe the feelings in your heart? 

My words of advise - Keep it Simple and talk to your celebrant if you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed or confused about where to start. This is a joyous time and  your celebrant is their to support you both.  I offer to assist one or both in writing their vows if needed. I also ask that they be sent to me and  I have a copy that I print off. You can read your vows from "upside down view" from your celebrants' folder or have your own cards.  I check that they are roughly the same length and they tone is the same. These words are precious as they are straight from the couples heart. 

These are the guidelines I ask my couples to consider.

• TALK TO YOUR FIANCEE - Have a deep heartfelt talk about your relationship.  Share what you love about each other and what you are looking forward to doing together in the future. It will give you some inspiration and a focus on what you may want to put your vows.
• REFLECT ALONE - Find a quiet spot and allow your thoughts to drift down memory lane. Think about how you met, your first kiss, think about how they have impacted your life.
• GET STARTED EARLY - It is never too soon to start writing your vows.  It is not something that you can (or should) whip up the morning of your wedding. This is your time to tell your soon to be wife/husband/partner what they mean to you. Often couples will change them, rewrite them, add sentences in, take sentences out until it feels just right for them
• TONE - Think about the tone you want for your vows. The tone should represent you BOTH.  Do you want something romantic and tear-jerking? Are you a quirky couple who love to laugh and want something fun and punchy? Whatever you do, decide on the tone together. It won't flow as well, if one is pledging their undying love and pouring out their heart and the other is telling a funny story and say they love the way you snore at night. Discuss this together when you both have 15 minutes spare to concentrate on each other. It ensures you are both on the right page. 
• LENGTH - It is important that you both decide on how long each of your vows should roughly be. If one person has said two lines in 30 seconds and the other is still talking after 15 minutes and can make you both feel uncomfortable.  Remember your will each be reading them out loud in front of your friends and family ( or you can ask your celebrant to read them for you).  Your vows DON'T HAVE TO BE LONG, you can just have one sentences each, if that is what you both want.
• INSPIRATION - Find inspiration from others or create your own inspiration. Take yourself off with your fiancee on to a romantic evening/weekend. Upon your return voice record all the wonderful things you love about them. Keep the recording and replay when you about to write your vows.
• BE SINCERE AND TRUE TO YOUR FEELINGS - Write from your heart. The promises you are making are for each other. 
• DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK - Your vows are written for your fiancee. It doesn't matter whatothers think. You have a partner who loves YOU and you both know what makes YOUR relationship so fantastic. Your guests at your wedding are there to celebrate your wedding day.
• READING OUT LOUD - As a general rule smaller weddings (under 30 people) don't have to have a sound system. This depends on where your ceremony is. If you are outside, and there is breeze, even the most accomplished speakers' voice can get lost in the wind. Your celebrant should be a confident public speaker with good voice projection. Couples are not often used to speaking in public. When it is your wedding day and emotions are flowing it can be a little more difficult to get the words out. If you are reading your vows out loud in front of your family and friends, remember they will want to hear what you are saying too. Your venue/celebrant may have a microphone. Its a good idea to hear your voice through the microphone/sound system BEFORE the big day. Perfect time is to try it out at the rehearsal ( if you are having one) or ask the venue to try out the sound system in the weeks leading up to your special day. If there is no sound system, my best advise - Practice, practice, practice.  That way you get used to the words and will have your head up and speak out better instead of head down reading a card. You may even want to memorise your own vows and not read a card ( but remember your celebrant need s a copy of what you have memorised, just in case..)   Record yourself on your phone and play back. Not many of us like hearing our own voices but take note of what you hear. Do you need to slow down? Speak up? 
• EXPECTATION - Don't put pressure on yourself. Chances are you most probably are not an author, poet or actor/actress so don't expect yourself ( or your finance) to be one! You are you. A pretty wonderful person that someone loves so much that they want to marry. That is priceless. 

 
Your celebrant is there to support you. You are not in this alone, this is one of the most special days in your life.  If you decide it is all too much your celebrant can write your vows and say them. The only speaking you have to legally say in New Zealand is "I (your name) take you ( their name) to be my legally wedded husband/wife/partner" ( or words to that affect). 

Relax and enjoy this wonderful time.
If you want to share some inspiration to other couples feel free to comment below. We would love to hear from you. 

Wedding dresses have changed through the last century. I found this on you tube and thought you might enjoy this.