Handfasting: All You Need To Know. What Is It And How To Do It

Weddings are all about celebrating love and unity, and what better way to symbolise that than with a beautiful handfasting ceremony.  But what exactly is 'handfasting' and how do you do it? ​ I will explain all.

What is Handfasting: A Unique Touch to Your Wedding Ceremony

Introduction to Handfasting
This ancient tradition, filled with rich symbolism and cultural significance, is making a comeback in modern weddings. Let's dive into what handfasting is, its history, and how you can incorporate this unique ritual into your special day.

History
The term 'handfasting' originates from the Anglo-Saxon word 'Handfaestung', which refers to the act of shaking hands to seal a contract. In Scotland, handfasting was legally recognised as a form of marriage up until 1939. Today, it is often included as a symbolic element in modern wedding ceremonies, both indoors and outdoors

Handfasting, also known as hand-tying, is a custom that dates back to Celtic times as a form of betrothal. Couples would declare their intent to marry and tie their hands together with cords or ribbons, symbolising their commitment to one another.

This ritual was once a key part of Celtic wedding ceremonies, especially among those who could not afford extravagant celebrations. It was a public declaration of the couple's intent and commitment, solidifying their status within their community.  

Modern Revival
In recent years, handfasting has seen a revival in contemporary weddings. Many couples are drawn to its romantic and symbolic nature and incorporate it as a meaningful element in their ceremonies. Whether honouring your heritage or simply looking for a unique ritual, handfasting can be a beautiful addition to your wedding.

The Symbolism of Handfasting
At its core, handfasting is about unity and commitment. The act of binding hands represents the joining of two lives, promising to support and cherish each other. It's a powerful visual metaphor for the bond you're creating. It symbolises different aspects of love, commitment, and partnership, making it a versatile and inclusive ritual.

M + B honoured their scottish heritage with a handfasting at Kingsdown Manor, Timaru. Their family each tied a knot with the 8 metres long cord. | Photo: Brad Reeve Photography

Materials Used in Handfasting
Selecting the materials for your handfasting is an important part of the process. You can choose cords, ribbons, or even pieces of fabric that hold personal significance. Emma and Lara used material from her grandmother's wedding dress and the family tartan. The length typically ranges from 2 to 3 meters, but this can vary depending on how the couple wants their hands tied. The material should feel special and meaningful to you.

Symbolic Colors and Their Meanings
Colors play a significant role in handfasting. Each colour can represent different qualities, such as love, loyalty, passion, or unity. For instance, red may symbolise love and passion, while green can represent growth and harmony.

Types of Handfasting Ceremonies  
Mini Handfasting Ceremony: 
This is the most common type of handfasting, which is incorporated into a traditional wedding ceremony. It involves the binding of the couple's hands, usually without additional rituals. However, the ceremony is customisable, and couples can add any elements they wish to make the moment more personal and memorable.  

Full Handfasting Ceremony
This type of handfasting is the centrepiece of the wedding ceremony. It is usually conducted outdoors, often surrounded by nature, and includes additional rituals like drinking from a 'Loving Cup' and 'Jumping the Broom'. 

Family and Friends
Involving loved ones in your handfasting ceremony can add an extra layer of meaning. They can help hold the cords or ribbons or even tie them around your hands, symbolising their support and blessings. They can present the box with the cords before or after the handfasting. 

Make it Unique
There are countless ways to make your handfasting ceremony unique. You could incorporate elements like reading special poems, playing meaningful music, or even including handfasting rituals from different cultures. 

What Happens After the Handfasting?    
The cords or ribbons are usually removed immediately after the ceremony and given to the couple as a keepsake. Having the knotted cords in a special box is a nice touch. Some couples tie a matching cord or ribbon cord around their marriage certificate for added symbolism. 

My couple had a beautiful pagan handfasting and broom jumping ceremony during their wedding. Held in Peel Forest, Mid Canterbury. on the day of a new moon. | Photo Jade Whaley

Frequently Asked Questions about Handfasting in NZ
Is handfasting legally binding?
Handfasting itself is not legally binding, but it can be included as part of a legally recognised wedding ceremony. I have done handfasting ceremonies for a couple at their engagement. 

How can we personalise the handfasting cords?
Personalising the cords or ribbons with colours, materials, or even family heirlooms can add special significance to your ceremony. Often, couples add charms to the ends of the cords. Zane made mini fishing lures for their cords, Leisa had wooden charms she picked up from a recent holiday. 

How long does a handfasting ceremony last?
A handfasting ceremony typically lasts around 5-10 minutes, depending on the length of the vows and any additional elements you include.

When do you do the handfasting at a wedding?
Discuss this with your celebrant.

• Handfasting before vows and promises. Remove cords before placing rings on, then sign documents.
• Say your vows and promises, place rings, then handfasting. Keep hands tied until the end of ceremony. Walk down aisle and remove cords before signing legal documents.

What are some handfasting ideas?

• Use different coloured ribbons to represent various aspects of your relationship.
• Involving family and friends.
• Incorporating elements from different cultural traditions.
• Add elements representing your life, hobbies or career. EG: Rope as you enjoy sailing or material from your children's baby wrap. 

​Handfasting is a timeless ritual that adds a unique and personal touch to your wedding ceremony. Whether you're honouring ancient traditions or creating new ones, this beautiful practice can symbolise the unity and commitment that your marriage represents. Handfasting is a memorable moment that you and your guests will enjoy. 

Are you ready to add a meaningful and unique element to your wedding ceremony? Let's discuss how handfasting and other special rituals can make your day more memorable.

Getting married in NZ and looking for an awesome celebrant? 
... I know one ... 🤣 get in contact and we can have an obligation free chat
Love, Jade x

Blog Photo:  H + J wedding at Stonebridge Geraldine had a beautiful handfasting with an infinity knot. | Photographer: Ashlee Adam Photography. ​