A Naming Ceremony can take any format that you choose.
It may be simple welcome to our world, a formal naming of your child,
or a blessing for the baby and your family. 
It is a bespoke ceremony to officially welcome your new baby that is crafted with your beliefs, values and desires of your family. 

​Naming/blessing Ceremonies have become popular over the years and some opt for naming ceremonies, over traditional christenings for newborns.

A naming ceremony can be used as well for blending of families or an adult changing their name. Your ceremony will be crafted to reflect what the family want. You many or may not have religion in your ceremony, it may include readings, blessings and/or presenting a naming certificate. 

Let's welcome your baby into your world with family and friends.  Your naming ceremony will recognise your newest addition to the family and acknowledge the important members in your child's life. After  months of waiting your little one has burst into the world. Your wee bundle of joy, 40 weeks of pondering and growing excitement, then the day is here. Adjusting to the routine of a newborn and trying to blend this wee human into your life is a busy time. ​Grandparents, siblings, godparents, friends and family can officailly welcome your child. A Name giving ceremony recognises the importance of your child into your life. Often an acknowledgement is made by those attending the naming; to show support the little one as they grow and journey through life.

​For older brothers and sisters it can reaffirm their place and importance in the family. 
With many beliefs and cultures in our community now some don't have a practicing religion but want a ceremony where you can make a promise and commitments to your child or children. Now days with families spread across the globe and work commitments we don't always have the support our Grandparents had. A naming is a wonderful opportunity to welcome important people in your child’s life.  There is nothing nicer than giving well wishes and pledging  support to a child and their family. 

​We can include any religion or spiritual beliefs that resonate with you and create a bespoke ceremony that recognises your baby.

It's often a funny part in the movie.
​The couple have just said their vows and the officiant asks for the rings. The best man pats down his suit, looks shocked and confused when he realises he doesn't have them.  Everyone scurries around looking until a substitute (like a coke can tab or cheezel) is found last minute to replace the ring. Everyone is received and go on to live happily ever after.

Yes, it is funny losing a wedding ring in a movie but not so in real life. Looking after wedding rings, until the moment you cement your vows with a ring, is a big responsibility. It can cause some couples to worry about what they should do. They ask what is the correct way and what do other people do?

​Q:  Who should look after your rings? 
​A:  Anyone you wish too! 

Don't feel overwhelmed or confused when planning your wedding.  
All you need to do is  work through what you need to do one step at a time. Here is a simple list of 10 important things you need to work out with your fiancee before you get into the finer details.  If you have been married and are not officially divorced please get on to this immediately. Even if you think it may go through quickly it may not be the case. Don't assume. If you aren't  divorced you can't get legally married and it is against the law to have a "pretend" wedding. 
​
1. Your Date and Time                                                                                          Set the date and time.  Think about long weekends and other big events that may be on in the area when you wish to get married. Use google to search the date and ask your local city council. Think about the time of day you wish to get married. Choose a back up date just in case and back up time in case the first options doesn't work ​​
2. Your  Budget 
Decide how much you can realistically spend. Confirm how you will be paying for your wedding and who is paying. If your parents are paying for majority of costs you may need to involve them in the decision making. Most vendors require a deposit to confirm your booking. This may be up to 50% upfront.  If you know the celebrant you want get in contact with them now to see if they are available for the date and time you wish to get married.
3.  Your Guests 
Write a list of who you would like to have at your wedding. Discuss and decide if a currently single person, will be invited to bring a plus one. Decide if guests can bring  their children. If yes, include them in your list. Keep a record of the children under 12
4. Your Style of Wedding 
You know how much money you would like to spend and the number of guests. Now thing about the style of wedding you want. Are you looking at a garden wedding with a BBQ, a wedding venue, beach ceremony, breakfast wedding, marque in a paddock or a large formal wedding?
5. Your Venue/ Location  and/or Hire Company
Most couple start searching for their Venue/location and Photographer at the same time. If you are thinking a marquee, get to your local hire places sooner rather than later. Remember to consider an option for wet weather. Unless you have your heart absolutely set on one place it is a good idea to explore a few options before paying your deposit.  Google is your best friend when looking up venues and location. Type those key words in google and browse their website. Read reviews. Venue prices vary so much and some allow you to bring your own food and alcohol and some supply it all for you.  Enquire via email in the first instance ( so you have a record of all the details and not get confused) Ask if they are available your date and for more information. If that all looks good go and visit the venue/s early. Try and visit them in the same day or week so they are fresh indoor mind. Video the area so you can remember the size etc. Talk to the vendor about your vision for your wedding and see how they react to it. 
6. Your Photographer/Videogapher
Browse photographers websites and find a few whose style resonate with you. Enquire via email in the first instance ( so you have a record of all the details) Ask if they are available your date and for more information. Meet with them and see if you fit with them. You already know you like their work but it is important you feel like they gel with you both as a couple and your vision for the wedding. Ask lots of questions and let them answer. 
7. Your Celebrant
It's very well having the perfect venue and photographer but you need someone to marry you. Have you seen a celebrant recently at a wedding you have attended? Did you really like the ceremony, did they stand out for you? If the answer is yes get in contact asap.  Ask around and use google. Stalk their fb business page and read reviews. Ask for recommendations but remember Just because a celebrant was great for your cousin doesn't mean they are great for you. Make a list of the celebrants you like the look of.  if they remind you of your exe's Mum or Dad or old school teacher you didn't like - not a good idea! Remember they are in you photos and videos for ever. Enquire via email in the first instance ( so you have a record of all the details) Ask if they are available your date and for more information. Meet with them and see if you fit with them. You already know you like their work but it is important you feel like they gel with you both as a couple and your vision for the wedding. Ask lots of questions and let them answer. I have previously written a full article on finding the right celebrant for you here
8. Food/Alcohol/Catering/
Start talking to vendors about the number of guests and your menu you would like. Enquire via email in the first instance ( so you have a record of all the details) Ask if they are available your date and for more information. Meet with them and see if you fit with them. You already know you like their work but it is important you feel like they gel with you both as a couple and your vision for the wedding. Ask lots of questions and let them answer. 
9. Music/Sound System/ Lighting
Ask for recommendations and use google. Enquire via email in the first instance ( so you have a record of all the details) Ask if they are available your date and for more information. Meet with them and see if you fit with them. You already know you like their work but it is important you feel like they gel with you both as a couple and your vision for the wedding. Ask lots of questions and let them answer. 
10. Cake/Flowers/Transport
Ask for recommendations and use google. Enquire via email in the first instance ( so you have a record of all the details) Ask if they are available your date and for more information. Meet with them and see if you fit with them. You already know you like their work but it is important you feel like they gel with you both as a couple and your vision for the wedding. Ask lots of questions and let them answer. Even if you are having taxi vans for guests at your wedding it pays to see how many are available. ​

It is an exciting time planning a wedding. In South Canterbury we are very lucky to have some amazing vendors. Feel free to connect with me if you need some help or recommendations for wedding vendors. 
Happy Planning! 

Celebrating Love and Life with Jade Kyles -Timaru Marriage Celebrant ​

The story of Ben and Mhairi's Scottish Wedding with a hand fasting, Kingsdown Manor, Timaru ​Kingsdown Manor and Chapel Centre was the perfect location for Ben and Mhairi's Scottish themed wedding. In keeping with their heritage, a hand fasting enactment was included after the exchange of rings.

Their Saturday started with showers, that teased us  on and off during the morning. By lunchtime the skies had cleared to reveal a beautiful, bright  sun with fluffy white clouds. 

This loving couple had set their wedding ceremony scene on top of the Caroline Bay Lookout.         This lookout gave us glorious views of the Pacific Ocean, the Southern Alps Mountain Range, Timaru township, the penguin colony and our working Port.  The workings at the port seem to cease during the ceremony so the sounds of seagulls and waves became our background music. 

Finding the right celebrant is like finding the perfect pair of shoes!

First you have to think about what you want. You want a pair of shoes that are going to fit with what your need them for. Think about it - you are heading for a night of dancing. Are you going to squeeze your foot into a gorgeous pair of shoes two sizes too small for you? Or wear a size to big? Of course not! You will end up with blisters and pinched feet or feeling not supported and unstable.

Celebrants are like shoes - one size does NOT fit all and the quality and type vary. Some shoes are so popular they are snapped up as soon as they are on display. The same goes for popular celebrants in peak wedding season. You should book the venue, food, photographer and celebrant all at the same time as early as you can so you get the best possible choice. 

First you need to think about the style that you want. It is no point choosing a celebrant that reminds you of your mean scout leader or looks like your fiancees' ex girlfriend.  Look on their website and facebook business page. Scroll through the photos of them. Do you feel comfortable with them? Do they look positive and happy? Do they fit with you and your fiancee? Are they portraying themselves as outgoing and vibrant or more reserved and quiet? Find a celebrant that fits YOUR personality. They will be in your wedding photos forever and on your video if you have one. 

• Find one or numerous celebrants that you BOTH like the look of and that feel right
• Contact them all and see if they are available for your date. They will probably want to know when the wedding is, where it is, what time it is and how many people will likely be attending. Ask to meet them for a no obligation chat 
• Both of you visit them or skype them and talk about your wedding (try and see all of your possible celebrants in the same week or as close to each other as possible)
• Tell them about your wedding (theme, style, enactments) and tell them about YOU. A good celebrant knows how to ask the right questions to get to know the real you. Ask questions about them. How long have they been a celebrant? Are they trained? Are they experienced? Do you like the sound of their voice and do you feel confident with them?
• Take a list of questions and confirm price and the package/s they offer. Does the price include a rehearsal? Transport? 
• Most professional celebrants have a contract which is for both of your benefit . Read carefully and talk with them if there are any conditions you are not sure or happy with.
• After you have seen all the celebrants and you both know who your want,  confirm with the celebrant of choice (make sure they are still available first don't assume) Sign and send back the contract and pay the deposit to confirm your booking quickly. 
• Contact the other celebrants who you have seen and let them know you have found someone else. Chances are they pencilled in a tentative booking for your date that they someone else can have now

A good celebrant will want to accomodate what you want. Whether you are having a traditional full wedding, brunch wedding at a cafe or a dress up Halloween Wedding,  you need a celebrant that is excited about what you are doing.  

Your celebrant should be welcoming, adaptable and easy to talk to. On your big day it is them running the ceremony. They will be making sure it is all set up as planned, they will be helping to keep your nervousness at bay and delivering an amazing ceremony for you and your guests. 

Don't be afraid to shop around and connect with a few (or lots of celebrants) Find one that you both fit with, they you have confidence in. Even if you have been married seven times or this is your first - it is your special day. You need someone that has your back and that has you and your ceremony as their priority. 

​Good luck and happy planning!

"Let's write our own vows!" 
It seemed like such a good idea at the time ... but as you sit down at your laptop  you don't know where to start. You google "How to write your own vows" but there is so many articles offering tips it can feel pretty over whelming.  

So, how do you get the words out that describe the feelings in your heart? 

My words of advise - Keep it Simple and talk to your celebrant if you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed or confused about where to start. This is a joyous time and  your celebrant is their to support you both.  I offer to assist one or both in writing their vows if needed. I also ask that they be sent to me and  I have a copy that I print off. You can read your vows from "upside down view" from your celebrants' folder or have your own cards.  I check that they are roughly the same length and they tone is the same. These words are precious as they are straight from the couples heart. 

These are the guidelines I ask my couples to consider.

• TALK TO YOUR FIANCEE - Have a deep heartfelt talk about your relationship.  Share what you love about each other and what you are looking forward to doing together in the future. It will give you some inspiration and a focus on what you may want to put your vows.
• REFLECT ALONE - Find a quiet spot and allow your thoughts to drift down memory lane. Think about how you met, your first kiss, think about how they have impacted your life.
• GET STARTED EARLY - It is never too soon to start writing your vows.  It is not something that you can (or should) whip up the morning of your wedding. This is your time to tell your soon to be wife/husband/partner what they mean to you. Often couples will change them, rewrite them, add sentences in, take sentences out until it feels just right for them
• TONE - Think about the tone you want for your vows. The tone should represent you BOTH.  Do you want something romantic and tear-jerking? Are you a quirky couple who love to laugh and want something fun and punchy? Whatever you do, decide on the tone together. It won't flow as well, if one is pledging their undying love and pouring out their heart and the other is telling a funny story and say they love the way you snore at night. Discuss this together when you both have 15 minutes spare to concentrate on each other. It ensures you are both on the right page. 
• LENGTH - It is important that you both decide on how long each of your vows should roughly be. If one person has said two lines in 30 seconds and the other is still talking after 15 minutes and can make you both feel uncomfortable.  Remember your will each be reading them out loud in front of your friends and family ( or you can ask your celebrant to read them for you).  Your vows DON'T HAVE TO BE LONG, you can just have one sentences each, if that is what you both want.
• INSPIRATION - Find inspiration from others or create your own inspiration. Take yourself off with your fiancee on to a romantic evening/weekend. Upon your return voice record all the wonderful things you love about them. Keep the recording and replay when you about to write your vows.
• BE SINCERE AND TRUE TO YOUR FEELINGS - Write from your heart. The promises you are making are for each other. 
• DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK - Your vows are written for your fiancee. It doesn't matter whatothers think. You have a partner who loves YOU and you both know what makes YOUR relationship so fantastic. Your guests at your wedding are there to celebrate your wedding day.
• READING OUT LOUD - As a general rule smaller weddings (under 30 people) don't have to have a sound system. This depends on where your ceremony is. If you are outside, and there is breeze, even the most accomplished speakers' voice can get lost in the wind. Your celebrant should be a confident public speaker with good voice projection. Couples are not often used to speaking in public. When it is your wedding day and emotions are flowing it can be a little more difficult to get the words out. If you are reading your vows out loud in front of your family and friends, remember they will want to hear what you are saying too. Your venue/celebrant may have a microphone. Its a good idea to hear your voice through the microphone/sound system BEFORE the big day. Perfect time is to try it out at the rehearsal ( if you are having one) or ask the venue to try out the sound system in the weeks leading up to your special day. If there is no sound system, my best advise - Practice, practice, practice.  That way you get used to the words and will have your head up and speak out better instead of head down reading a card. You may even want to memorise your own vows and not read a card ( but remember your celebrant need s a copy of what you have memorised, just in case..)   Record yourself on your phone and play back. Not many of us like hearing our own voices but take note of what you hear. Do you need to slow down? Speak up? 
• EXPECTATION - Don't put pressure on yourself. Chances are you most probably are not an author, poet or actor/actress so don't expect yourself ( or your finance) to be one! You are you. A pretty wonderful person that someone loves so much that they want to marry. That is priceless. 

 
Your celebrant is there to support you. You are not in this alone, this is one of the most special days in your life.  If you decide it is all too much your celebrant can write your vows and say them. The only speaking you have to legally say in New Zealand is "I (your name) take you ( their name) to be my legally wedded husband/wife/partner" ( or words to that affect). 

Relax and enjoy this wonderful time.
If you want to share some inspiration to other couples feel free to comment below. We would love to hear from you.