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How To Use Gender Inclusive Language At Weddings Or Celebrations

1/24/2023

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Four gender neutral non-binary people dressed in white at a wedding, walking on a path in a forest. Jade Timaru Celebrant, South Canterbury, New Zealand
How to include your non-binary friend in your wedding: Use gender-neutral terms and inclusive language for your wedding party, celebrations or engagement. All you need to know. 

Bridesmate, Mate-of-Honour, Best-mate and Your Wedding Party: Have Gender-Neutral Terms For Your Wedding

If you are a non-binary couple getting married, you may call yourself partners instead of bride or groom. For this blog, I am using the words for a person who identifies as a bride and a person who identifies as a groom. 

There are plenty of ways to include your brides' mates in your big day without using dated language.

Introducing: the brides-mate, best-mate  and mate-of-honour
It is gender neutral term for the person standing by your side when you say 'I do'. Bridesman and man-of-honour are other terms you might hear if you have someone who identifies as male in your wedding crew. You might hear groomsmaid or best woman to refer to someone who identifies as female in the 'groom's party'.
Woman with long wavy brown hair wearing a pale pink suit at a wedding venue. Jade Tiamru Wedding Celebrant in Timaru, South Canterbury, New Zealand
​Non-Binary Wedding Outfits
If you're having a wedding party and want to have a non-binary bridesmate, what should they wear?

If a brides mate, bridesman or maid of honour is non-binary, they may not feel comfortable wearing a dress or suit that doesn't align with their gender identity. If this is the case, you need to consider how to make their role in your wedding party as inclusive as possible.

The main thing is to be sensitive about how they identify and ensure they feel comfortable being included in the day. Ask them what they would feel comfortable wearing, or suggesting you go shopping together to find something they like and choose together, so it fits your vision for the day.
Two non binary people dressed in womens clothes writing on a mirror SHE HER in dark pink lipstick. Jade Whaley Timaru Celebrant www.jadetimarucelebrant.co.nz
Bridesman Outfit Ideas
When it comes to a male-identifying bridesman, an option is to have him wear the same colour scheme as the bridesmaids –he wears a tie in the same shade the bridesmaids are wearing. 

You could also look at different options, such as making his suit the same colour as the bridesmaid dresses or putting him in a pattern. His buttonhole can match my bouquet or his tie made from the same material as the bridesmaid dresses.

Whether you have a Bridesman, groomsman, bestmate, bridemaid, bridesmate, mate-of-honour, bestman, bestperson.... you make the rules!  
You will assign your wedding party members specific roles to help make your big day run smoothly. You choose their role and what it involves. 


The most important thing when choosing your wedding crew is they should be someone who will support you through thick and thin and make sure everything goes smoothly on your big day.

I would love to hear about your experiences as a best mate, mate-of-honour or bridesmate
​Love, Jade x
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