It's often a funny part in the movie.
The couple have just said their vows and the officiant asks for the rings. The best man pats down his suit, looks shocked and confused when he realises he doesn't have them. Everyone scurries around looking until a substitute (like a coke can tab or cheezel) is found last minute to replace the ring. Everyone is received and go on to live happily ever after.
Yes, it is funny losing a wedding ring in a movie but not so in real life. Looking after wedding rings, until the moment you cement your vows with a ring, is a big responsibility. It can cause some couples to worry about what they should do. They ask what is the correct way and what do other people do?
Q: Who should look after your rings?
A: Anyone you wish too!
A lot of couples use their best-man and/or chief bridesmaid, page boy/ring bearer to hold their rings. This feels more traditional for the couple and some do this for ease. This is what suits them.
I have had a lovely wedding where it was a grandmother that held the rings and she walked up from the guests to give the rings. It was a surprise for for the guests for her to have them, and it made her feel very privileged. Very touching moment.
You can choose anyone you want to or not. I had a wedding recently where the rings were hidden in the decorations behind where we were doing our ceremony. The bride and groom just plucked them out when it was time.
Holding the rings is a "big deal" and ideally you would like someone who agrees this is important.
I have also had ring warming ceremonies, where all the guests have briefly held the rings during the ceremony to"warm the rings" with their love for the couple. This works really well with smaller weddings.
Or of course you can use your fur-babies. I have had numerous weddings where their beloved animals have been included.
Meet Macy the Ring Bearer
Gorgeous Macy was in charge of her "Mum and Dad's" (Anna and Hamish) wedding rings.
They made sure the rings were secure and there was a bridesmaid responsible for looking after Macy. Macy walked down with the bridesmaids and waited patiently through the ceremony. When it was her turn to hand over the rings she wagged her tail and was happy to be part of it. It was really wonderful to see.
If you are thinking about your dog or animal there are some things to consider.
Who ever you decide to carry your rings on your day, remember it is a wonderful moment in their life as well. It is important to make sure at the rehearsal they know when they will be called and they know what to do. If there is a ring box it is good to confirm what they are to do with it later.
Some choose not have rings at all and some choose to have a tattoo instead. Whatever you decide make sure you are celebrating YOUR Wedding day YOUR way
Timaru Celebrant Jade Kyles
The story of Jonathon and Nadine's morning intimate garden wedding, Timaru
This lovely couple created a beautiful, initimate ceremonial space in a relatively short amount of time. Jonathon and Nadine decided the time was right to marry and thought why wait - I loved their enthusiasm!
Jonathon's parents have the most stunning rural lookout on the outskirts of Timaru, so it was decided this would be the perfect location for them ... and it was.
The sky had meandering clouds that created the perfect light to allow talented
photographer, Richard Brown of Husky Photography, to capture some amazing photos. The clouds moved away to reveal a spectacular day.
This couple had decided on a morning wedding and it worked out wonderfully.
Don't feel overwhelmed or confused when planning your wedding.
All you need to do is work through what you need to do one step at a time. Here is a simple list of 10 important things you need to work out with your fiancee before you get into the finer details. If you have been married and are not officially divorced please get on to this immediately. Even if you think it may go through quickly it may not be the case. Don't assume. If you aren't divorced you can't get legally married and it is against the law to have a "pretend" wedding.
1. Your Date and Time Set the date and time. Think about long weekends and other big events that may be on in the area when you wish to get married. Use google to search the date and ask your local city council. Think about the time of day you wish to get married. Choose a back up date just in case and back up time in case the first options doesn't work
2. Your Budget
Decide how much you can realistically spend. Confirm how you will be paying for your wedding and who is paying. If your parents are paying for majority of costs you may need to involve them in the decision making. Most vendors require a deposit to confirm your booking. This may be up to 50% upfront. If you know the celebrant you want get in contact with them now to see if they are available for the date and time you wish to get married.
3. Your Guests
Write a list of who you would like to have at your wedding. Discuss and decide if a currently single person, will be invited to bring a plus one. Decide if guests can bring their children. If yes, include them in your list. Keep a record of the children under 12
4. Your Style of Wedding
You know how much money you would like to spend and the number of guests. Now thing about the style of wedding you want. Are you looking at a garden wedding with a BBQ, a wedding venue, beach ceremony, breakfast wedding, marque in a paddock or a large formal wedding?
5. Your Venue/ Location and/or Hire Company
Most couple start searching for their Venue/location and Photographer at the same time. If you are thinking a marquee, get to your local hire places sooner rather than later. Remember to consider an option for wet weather. Unless you have your heart absolutely set on one place it is a good idea to explore a few options before paying your deposit. Google is your best friend when looking up venues and location. Type those key words in google and browse their website. Read reviews. Venue prices vary so much and some allow you to bring your own food and alcohol and some supply it all for you. Enquire via email in the first instance ( so you have a record of all the details and not get confused) Ask if they are available your date and for more information. If that all looks good go and visit the venue/s early. Try and visit them in the same day or week so they are fresh indoor mind. Video the area so you can remember the size etc. Talk to the vendor about your vision for your wedding and see how they react to it.
6. Your Photographer/Videogapher
Browse photographers websites and find a few whose style resonate with you. Enquire via email in the first instance ( so you have a record of all the details) Ask if they are available your date and for more information. Meet with them and see if you fit with them. You already know you like their work but it is important you feel like they gel with you both as a couple and your vision for the wedding. Ask lots of questions and let them answer.
7. Your Celebrant
It's very well having the perfect venue and photographer but you need someone to marry you. Have you seen a celebrant recently at a wedding you have attended? Did you really like the ceremony, did they stand out for you? If the answer is yes get in contact asap. Ask around and use google. Stalk their fb business page and read reviews. Ask for recommendations but remember Just because a celebrant was great for your cousin doesn't mean they are great for you. Make a list of the celebrants you like the look of. if they remind you of your exe's Mum or Dad or old school teacher you didn't like - not a good idea! Remember they are in you photos and videos for ever. Enquire via email in the first instance ( so you have a record of all the details) Ask if they are available your date and for more information. Meet with them and see if you fit with them. You already know you like their work but it is important you feel like they gel with you both as a couple and your vision for the wedding. Ask lots of questions and let them answer. I have previously written a full article on finding the right celebrant for you here
Start talking to vendors about the number of guests and your menu you would like. Enquire via email in the first instance ( so you have a record of all the details) Ask if they are available your date and for more information. Meet with them and see if you fit with them. You already know you like their work but it is important you feel like they gel with you both as a couple and your vision for the wedding. Ask lots of questions and let them answer.
9. Music/Sound System/ Lighting
Ask for recommendations and use google. Enquire via email in the first instance ( so you have a record of all the details) Ask if they are available your date and for more information. Meet with them and see if you fit with them. You already know you like their work but it is important you feel like they gel with you both as a couple and your vision for the wedding. Ask lots of questions and let them answer.
Ask for recommendations and use google. Enquire via email in the first instance ( so you have a record of all the details) Ask if they are available your date and for more information. Meet with them and see if you fit with them. You already know you like their work but it is important you feel like they gel with you both as a couple and your vision for the wedding. Ask lots of questions and let them answer. Even if you are having taxi vans for guests at your wedding it pays to see how many are available.
It is an exciting time planning a wedding. In South Canterbury we are very lucky to have some amazing vendors. Feel free to connect with me if you need some help or recommendations for wedding vendors.
Celebrating Love and Life with Jade Kyles -Timaru Marriage Celebrant
The story of Ben and Mhairi's Scottish Wedding with a hand fasting, Kingsdown Manor, Timaru Kingsdown Manor and Chapel Centre was the perfect location for Ben and Mhairi's Scottish themed wedding. In keeping with their heritage, a hand fasting enactment was included after the exchange of rings.
Their whole family was involved in including Toby, their much loved fur baby. The day began with a little drizzle which stopped an hour before the wedding and the sky was perfect for the photos. Brad Reeve Photography captured their special moments for their wedding day.
Mhairi and Ben had a personalised ceremony that captured their essence and their love story. They wrote their own vows which were very moving.
The story of Kyle & Tiffanie's Beach Wedding by the Penguin Colony, Caroline Bay, Timaru
The weather during the day had been terrible with gale force winds and the threat of rain looming. Most of NZ had been hit by the tail end of a cyclone but the sun gods shone bright for Kyle and Tiffanies 6:00pm wedding. A bit of wind still whipped through but it was a hundred times better than it had been hours before.
A simple but lovely set up brought in the colours black, white, red and blue for their beach wedding. A carved love heart and signing table was created for our ceremonial space.
Their Saturday started with showers, that teased us on and off during the morning. By lunchtime the skies had cleared to reveal a beautiful, bright sun with fluffy white clouds.
This loving couple had set their wedding ceremony scene on top of the Caroline Bay Lookout. This lookout gave us glorious views of the Pacific Ocean, the Southern Alps Mountain Range, Timaru township, the penguin colony and our working Port. The workings at the port seem to cease during the ceremony so the sounds of seagulls and waves became our background music.
Finding the right celebrant is like finding the perfect pair of shoes!
First you have to think about what you want. You want a pair of shoes that are going to fit with what your need them for. Think about it - you are heading for a night of dancing. Are you going to squeeze your foot into a gorgeous pair of shoes two sizes too small for you? Or wear a size to big? Of course not! You will end up with blisters and pinched feet or feeling not supported and unstable.
Celebrants are like shoes - one size does NOT fit all and the quality and type vary. Some shoes are so popular they are snapped up as soon as they are on display. The same goes for popular celebrants in peak wedding season. You should book the venue, food, photographer and celebrant all at the same time as early as you can so you get the best possible choice.
First you need to think about the style that you want. It is no point choosing a celebrant that reminds you of your mean scout leader or looks like your fiancees' ex girlfriend. Look on their website and facebook business page. Scroll through the photos of them. Do you feel comfortable with them? Do they look positive and happy? Do they fit with you and your fiancee? Are they portraying themselves as outgoing and vibrant or more reserved and quiet? Find a celebrant that fits YOUR personality. They will be in your wedding photos forever and on your video if you have one.
Your celebrant should be welcoming, adaptable and easy to talk to. On your big day it is them running the ceremony. They will be making sure it is all set up as planned, they will be helping to keep your nervousness at bay and delivering an amazing ceremony for you and your guests.
Don't be afraid to shop around and connect with a few (or lots of celebrants) Find one that you both fit with, they you have confidence in. Even if you have been married seven times or this is your first - it is your special day. You need someone that has your back and that has you and your ceremony as their priority.
Good luck and happy planning!
"Let's write our own vows!"
It seemed like such a good idea at the time ... but as you sit down at your laptop you don't know where to start. You google "How to write your own vows" but there is so many articles offering tips it can feel pretty over whelming.
So, how do you get the words out that describe the feelings in your heart?
My words of advise - Keep it Simple and talk to your celebrant if you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed or confused about where to start. This is a joyous time and your celebrant is their to support you both. I offer to assist one or both in writing their vows if needed. I also ask that they be sent to me and I have a copy that I print off. You can read your vows from "upside down view" from your celebrants' folder or have your own cards. I check that they are roughly the same length and they tone is the same. These words are precious as they are straight from the couples heart.
These are the guidelines I ask my couples to consider.
Your celebrant is there to support you. You are not in this alone, this is one of the most special days in your life. If you decide it is all too much your celebrant can write your vows and say them. The only speaking you have to legally say in New Zealand is "I (your name) take you ( their name) to be my legally wedded husband/wife/partner" ( or words to that affect).
Relax and enjoy this wonderful time.
If you want to share some inspiration to other couples feel free to comment below. We would love to hear from you.
Wedding dresses have changed through the last century. I found this on you tube and thought you might enjoy this.
Being a pet owner isn't just "owning a pet". Animals can become part of the family and in some circumstances are the only "family" some of us have.
Sometimes the death of a much loved animal can have such a devastating impact that can affect our daily functioning.
The loss of an animal should not be dismissed as not important. It can impact same of us the same as a losing a loved one who is human. Saying to someone "It's only a cat or dog, never mind - you'll get over it. you can buy another one" is not what you say to a person grieving the loss of their beloved fur baby. The impact can be huge. Sleep deprivation, guilt, loneliness and an ache that feels like it will never go away.
I had two wonderful cats, Molly and Tommy. Molly was 15 and Tommy (pictured ) was almost 17 when they passed. They were brother and sister ( twins I called them) I had my cats before my children and they were very much part of our family. I remember saying to people BEFORE I got them "My cats won't be in on the furniture they can stay in their basket if they are inside." Reality - "ohh its cold outside, I will turn on my electric blanket on my bed so they can sleep on my full, soft duvet with heat coming through"
The loss of Molly and Tommy was awful. It was a pain in my heart that non-pet owners will never feel. I had to have both my fur-babies put down as their health was deteriorating and guilt stayed with me for a long time.
One of the things that did aid in the start of our healing and acceptance that they were gone, was a "Pet Ceremony"
This may involve a funeral (where you are burying your pet) or memorial (your pet may have already been cremated or you do not have your pet there)
Having a beautiful ceremony where you share your stories is very healing. You are not only honouring your pet you are honouring the feelings that you may be feeling. It can give you a chance to start your grieving process. You are allowed to cry at a funeral or memorial!
There are many things you can do to symbolise your "headstone" for your pet. Painting a stone, planting a tree, shrub or rose or building something special in your garden, are only a few ideas. A painted stone or rock is a good option for children as they can actually bring their rock or stone inside to have their "pet" near them. It is also good if you move as you can easily take that with you. Do what ever you need to for YOU.
Ideas to consider:
Your pet is an important part of your life.
Honour them. Remember them. Celebrate them